A bushel and peck (or, Thawing our babycicle)

Our first night at home went well, and gave us some much needed quality rest.  As good as Mission was to us, there were a lot of things - visits from nurses, social workers, nutritionists, more nurses - that got in the way of being with Asher.  In some ways, even though we're 15 minutes and not one floor away from him, it might be easier to see him.  

We managed to lounge around most of the morning, then made it to Asher in the afternoon.  Brad joined us there, and I'm glad he got to see Asher in a better state than day one.  Asher's nurse told us they'd been slowly warming him since 8am, and that once he got to 36.5 degrees Celsius, we'd be able to hold him for the first time.  

In the meantime, she delivered the day's news, which was small to some but important to us.  The neonatologist had previously told guessed that there was a 50/50 chance Asher would come home with a feeding tube, meaning he would not be able to eat on his own.  Nurse Tacy offered us some hope, saying that when she put her finger in Asher's mouth, she MIGHT have felt the beginning of a swallowing reflex.  Very unscientific, but hopeful nonetheless.

Partly because of all the sedatives to reduce Asher's seizures, he's been mostly silent so far.  It feels like we're the first parents who, days into parenthood, desperately want to hear our baby cry.  The sedatives have also kept him pretty inactive.  The first couple days, we were just happy to see him moving his arms and legs on his own.  He also hasn't shown much movement in his face or mouth.  So today we were very excited by things like this:

Marissa and Asher had a few routines established well before birth.  One was reading Dr. Seuss books, especially The Foot Book.  Babies love hearing anything rhythmic, even before birth, and will sometimes respond to those same rhythms after birth.  I can still hear Marissa reading, "Left foot, right foot, feet feet feet.  How many different feet you'll meet".  But the most consistent rhythm came from a song.  At least once a day during the entire pregnancy, Marissa would sing "A Bushel and a Peck" to Asher.  

Anything can happen once.  Twice can be a coincidence.  But three times is a pattern.  I've seen three times now where Asher has become much more active when Marissa sings their song to him.  This has also happened even through high levels of sedatives.  I'm starting to believe he responds so strongly to the song, he fights through the drugs to connect with his mother.  Yesterday, he opened his eyes for the song.  Today, he practically got up and danced.  

As he was being warmed, seizure activity increased.  This was always a possibility during the warming process.  There are some points in the videos above where you can see what his small seizures look like - look for the rhythmic chin quiver.  These seizures were bigger,  involving more of his body, so the neonatologist gave the go ahead for another sedative to calm him.

By 5:30, Asher had been thawed, and was ready to meet his parents.  The cords and tubes presented an obstacle, but our nurse did a great job of making this important experience easy and comfortable.  Below is the video of Marissa holding Asher for the first time:

As time goes on in these videos, Asher is receiving more and more sedative.  Still, it feels like Asher fights through the medication to talk to his mom.  Once he changed position, getting more skin to skin contact, he really got vocal:

Today was a special day for us.

After Marissa was done, it was my turn.  We were creeping up on 6:30, which is one of the two times during the day when no visitors are allowed.  But Tracy, knowing how important this was to us, drew the curtains around us and let us stay for some extra time.  

Oxytocin is the body's "love chemical", giving you a warm, fuzzy feeling.  Lots of things get it pumping, but nothing so much as holding a baby.  If I look a little stoned below, I think it's because my Oxytocin levels are near lethal.  This was one of the most relaxing moments of my life, to the point I stopped answering Marissa's questions.

We left lovedrunk.  Gerry and Joel had a wonderful dinner waiting for us.  It felt like a celebration.