Power or bliss

Asher was surrounded by a group of very happy nurses when I walked into the NICU this morning.  They informed me I just missed a very exciting 15 minutes.  Two of the women were from the unit's feeding team, and had been testing his ability to suck and swallow.  Not only had they gotten Asher to give a good suck on a finger, but, more importantly, they could hear swallowing both through a stethoscope and with Asher simply laying there in front of them.  When I told them he'd already taken some milk from a bottle, they advised we slow that down, not wanting to make the experience unpleasant for him or risk getting milk in his lungs.

His nurse today worked with him on his second and fourth days on the unit.  She hasn't seen him since then, and seemed pretty amazed at his progress in that time.  I loved listening to her talk about him.  Professionally and personally, she seemed so hopeful for him and so invested in his care.  The look of excitement on her face was one I've seen more and more from the nurses in recent days.  It tells me the progress I'm seeing in Asher isn't just the product of my parental pride.  Others are seeing the same thing.  It's real.

He continued taking small steps in other areas today outside the sucking and swallowing.  He's a little more able to hold his hands up by his face like babies do.  He's tracking things with his eyes and looking when someone says his name (he already knows his name!).  He pooped mustard.

Marissa called me in the afternoon when I'd gone back to work.  Our case manager was asking her about scheduling another team meeting like the one we had last week.  About half way through this conversation, I became aware of how much the idea of this meeting scared me.  The last one, when I was told Asher would likely be "moderately to severely disabled", was the hardest thing I've done in the past week.

Since that point, I've seen nothing but progress, been given nothing but hope.  It's no wonder I found myself saying I didn't see the point in such a meeting.  Part of me would rather live only with the hope of what's in front of me rather than understanding the facts of our situation.  Knowledge is power, but ignorance is bliss.

We're meeting Friday morning.